Me, Myself, and I
I’ve been thinking about something for a while — in truth I spend a lot of time in meditation on a lot of things, and to be honest I have not given this particular thing nearly as much thought as I should — still, it took an argument, tears, and some pretty hard hitting truths for me to realize that I really need to give this thing a significantly greater amount of thought and practice than I have been.
Thinking about a thing alone is not enough, if you aren’t willing to actually put it into practice and perfect it then you may as well not even try at all. This is especially true for love. Not necessarily just being in love, but love in general.
It’s no different than any other thing that we should do in our lives, loving others. It should be done with the utmost passion and intensity! This is a statement not meant to be taken foolishly, with a childlike delight and a snicker, but seriously. If we do not treat those around us with the utmost love and to the absolute best of our ability, even beyond that, we are doing neither them or ourselves any good.
Think of it, if you will, as filling a cup with water; if I am thirsty I am going to fill the cup to the fullest that it can be filled, making sure that the need to quench my thirst is met. I wouldn’t mistreat myself, or withhold from myself so why would I do so to anyone else that I have any contact with?
That is the problem.. We spend far too much time thinking about ourselves and not about the needs of those around us. The true purpose of “love your neighbor as yourself” is lost in our desire to only maintain those things that benefit us.
We share memes and ignorant posts, take part in conversations and follow preposterous social trends that declare what love is, but they pervert the truth of love and condone unforgiveness, bitterness, distrust, wrath, envy, and a myriad of other things that are in fact the opposite of love. We treat trust as though it is something that it is not, making others walk on nails barefoot to earn something that in reality is a consequence of love; neither requiring nor asking for anything in return.
Our lives have become a parade of foolish thinking and selfish desire, casting aside anyone and anything that does not benefit us — with no regard to the feelings or well-being of those that we hurt in the process — the consequence of which is of far less satisfactory than if we just loved without the expectation of gaining anything for ourselves. I mean, really, how many people enjoy being treated like they don’t matter?
That, however, does not excuse us! Saying “Well they don’t make me feel like I matter, so I will show them how it feels,” is the imbecilic reaction of a selfish person.
I look to my fiancee, who adores me far more than I am often aware of. This is a woman who, though she has suffered many things, continues to do her very best and I have tendency to overlook that. What does it benefit her that I continue to do so? What good does it do for me to think of myself “I feel this way or that,” allowing my own desires and opinions to affect my attitude and not to pay attention to her needs? It certainly does not have a positive affect of any kind on our relationship, in fact it often causes far more tension than anything else.
We apply so much focus and intent on ourselves, often forgetting that those people who care for us have needs that should be met as well. The truth is that I am certainly not nearly as attentive to that as I should be. I say that I love her, but I have no great understanding of her needs or how she feels when I do certain things. Granted it takes time and effort on both parties in a relationship to maintain the relationship, but the truth of love is that it does not consider itself in any circumstance.
My first priority in this relationship should be to love her with the love that Christ has told me to live according to, and not only my fiancee! I should love everyone with the love of God!
Generally I quote a number of scriptures, but this post is fairly self-explanatory; we should all have an understanding of what real love is, and if we do not then we should begin seriously seeking it out! Even then, if you do not learn to understand how valuable you are you will not find much success in practicing it anyway. If you can’t love yourself properly, in a way that is beyond selfishness, how can you possibly love anyone else in the way that we are called to love?
It is definitely a subject that I would very much love to write on some more, when I have the time!! For now, I am going to go to bed and get some rest so that I can spend time with the woman that I love; hopefully learning more, with less misunderstandings of course, and applying what I learn to the way that I love her and treat her in this relationship.
Just remember this: It is NOT about whether or not anyone deserves our love and trust, or whether or not they make us feel the same way! It is simply about loving without the expectation of anything in return, unconditionally! Take a step back, look at yourself, and ask yourself “Am I loving others, and my loved ones especially, to the best of my ability? Or is the love that I say I have false and full of selfish expectation?”
I am really looking forward to taking the time to write another post about this subject, in more detail! I’m honestly so tired, and have so many things going through my head that I am not even sure that this post makes sense, I just thought I’d share this thought! Keep an eye open for the post in a week or so!
For the time being, however, I am far more excited to spend time with Alysha while she is visiting so I am off to bed so that I be peachy in the morning and not an unbearable grumpy pants because I haven’t slept! G’night!